Will I Be Safe?

Last weeks’ devastating flood in Texas reminded me of something important that I realized we need to talk about here. And then before I could do anything about it. there was the Monday a.m. news that nine people had been killed by fire in an assisted living facility in Massachusetts.

These events force us to think about a reality of old age: our ability to respond to danger is limited. This fact is relevant when we are choosing a place to live.

In a California fire a few years ago a town called Paradise was destroyed and 85 people died. A high percentage of these unfortunate people were elderly.

Books have been written about this tragedy; I have not read the books. I already  lived the event, following the news as it unfolded, because at the time, I lived not far from Paradise, in a similar high fire hazard area. I had an emergency bag in the trunk of my car: simple necessities in case of separation from home. My son put the bag there for me, and it had to stay there all year, because when it was packed I was not able to lift it into the trunk.

Following the instructions of my own fire department, I had posted in my little office a list of treasures I would want to grab if leaving in a hurry. These were things of special value to me—practical or emotional. Some of them were my medicines and legal documents, some the original art hanging on my walls. The list gave me comfort that I would not forget something I considered essential.

Gas in the car was also crucial. If a population is fleeing, with cars bumper to bumper on the only road out of the area, the driver who runs out of fuel will create a tragedy for herself and everyone behind her. Consequently, I somewhat obsessively stopped at  stations when I needed only two or three gallons to fill my tank.

The Paradise fire started in the early morning. Lots of people were still in bed; their hearing aids were probably on their bedside tables, like mine. By the time old people knew they were in danger, it was too late to escape. The Massachusetts fire happened in the middle of the night.

In any home for the elderly, residents should remember such stories and insist on knowing the plan for protecting them in case of an emergency in their city or in their building. In a particular facility that I happen to know about, the residents recently demanded to know what would happen in case of a fire in their building. The question was certainly reasonable. Every time they got into the elevator they saw a little sign telling them not to use it in case of a fire in the building. But most of them were incapable of using the stairs.

Responsible staff personnel responded to the question. They said they had equipment and an evacuation plan. They would take full responsibility for residents, who should just stay in their rooms. Residents demanded to see the equipment and know the plan.

Truthfully, staying where we are may be the most difficult instruction to follow, because it is counterintuitive.

I notice that for mature adults, as for children, safety has two dimensions: the physical reality that we are safe and the mental confidence that this is true.

In the homes for the elderly that I know about, there are signals in every apartment: a button hanging around a resident’s neck, a cord by the shower or the bed, a smoke alarm in the kitchen. And along with these devices, there should be confidence that if I push the button or pull the cord, help will arrive.

I think it was the flood in Texas that made me think about this. What if we had a hundred elderly people in a building, half of them with walkers or electric wheelchairs, and we got news of a wall of water coming fast?  

Though we can’t prepare for every emergency, the truth remains. Safety is an issue. This is one reason for leaving our homes. A supervised community is safer than a place where we are alone in all circumstances. Looking for a place to be when you are old and not physically strong, remember this. Know the area where the facility is located and ask the pertinent questions.

If floods are common or likely, ask about warning signs and existing plans to deal with such an emergency.

If the area is dry and prone to fires, where are the numbers you need to call if you smell smoke, and where do you go for safety?  

In a high crime area, how are residents protected?  

And in all cases, does the community have its own security staff?

Many retirement homes have a variety of advantages well beyond the necessary: beauticians, exercise gyms, heated swimming pools, and planned activities such as lectures, concerts, sightseeing trips. These are wonderful. Their presence adds quality and convenience to people’s lives, but protection in an emergency is more important. Put it at the top of the list of services you need. Don’t be shy to raise questions about it.

And remember that first you need to be safe and then you need to feel safe.