The question of cost is basic when we begin to search for a place to spend our declining years. Our resources are limited, and we don’t know how long they need to last. While visiting a certain very beautiful community, I met a lively, well-dressed woman who was chatting with a friend in the common […]
Continue reading
A friend of mine here in the elder care community was in pain. I could see it on her face. It was 10:00 a.m. and the medicine she was supposed to take at 7:00 had not arrived. A couple of Tylenol was all she needed, but residents in assisted care must surrender to the nursing […]
Continue reading
Before I came to live in the retirement community, I was in my house alone a great deal of the time. I slept alone, ate alone, watched television alone, made messes and cleaned them up alone, walked alone outdoors in the afternoons. Because of covid the fewer people I saw up-close, the safer I was. […]
Continue reading
Is There a Chaplain in the House? If you are helping an elderly person choose an assisted care community, be sure to ask: Is there a chaplain? This is not a minor detail. It is one of the essentials. Anytime you have a building full of elderly people, as you do in such a […]
Continue reading
Once a friend of mine, visiting in a nursing home for the elderly, said “Merry Christmas” at the bedside of a woman who then began to cry and said, “I didn’t know it was Christmas.” My friend was angry. She had heard Christmas music in the lobby, but there was none on […]
Continue reading
Before I moved to the retirement community, I was alone in a big house, responsible for the meals I ate, the dirty dishes, my laundry, the kitchen floor, shopping, fetching the mail, taking out the trash and knocking the unexpected snow off the awning over my deck. And my doctor kept asking what I […]
Continue reading
In October, I sat on the porch with Bee, another resident here. I was in one of the big white rocking chairs that always seem to invite me to sit awhile. My friend was in her wheelchair. The day was sunny, the sky brilliant, and across the road the strip of forest that protects us […]
Continue reading
Should residing in an assisted living/ retirement home enable me to escape the chaos of the world? This may not be a question that anyone is saying aloud, but one that voices a secret hope, a need that has grown out of our weariness. A tough week caused me to wonder. Fires in California, the […]
Continue reading
A couple of years ago while consciously thinking about how to help myself grow old, I realized that it was really important to me to keep learning. This was partly recognition that learning had something to do with my brain health, and that I would need my brain when my legs were already worn […]
Continue reading
Retirement communities are not all alike. Before making a choice about where to live, you must understand the basic options, how they differ and how these differences affect your lifestyle. The question is: What kind of living situation do you want? I am writing this just after a disturbing experience. The woman I chose to […]
Continue reading